Humor and truth on the campaign trail. It's
Running for president from his futon
"Let’s put America back together again.*
* Not like it was ... better than it was."
Can a broke cartoonist get his futon into the Oval Office?
On election night 2016, one man was so disillusioned with both candidates that he went into a self-imposed exile. Pilliard Dickle became known as the only person in America who didn't know who won. Now he's making a bid for the job. But he's doing it his way. He's running his entire campaign from his futon.
Pilliard Dickle after the election, not knowing who won.
Drawing people together.
Pilliard Dickle has 2020 vision. And the future looks bright. "People are coming together in amazing ways in the face of this insanity. Together, we are going to pick up the pieces of America and put it back together again. Better than it's ever been."
Is Pilliard Dickle running as a Democrat or a Republican?
Neither! He's with The Periwinkle Party—the party named after a crayon. It's mostly blue with a dollop of red.* It spans 2/3 of the political spectrum from the Indigos and Cobalt Blues on the left to the Purples and Plums in the middle.
* Eisenhower red
Note: Membership in The Periwinkle Party does not preclude membership in any other party. It's a little plug-in party. You can be a Periwinklillian and still be whatever else you want.
"We welcome people of all political hues who are ready to join us in a temporary alliance and stand toe-to-toe to rescue this tattered democracy."
Watch The Futon Show and discover what The Periwinkle Party is all about!
His campaign budget is $175
Plus two Beatles glasses full of change. But he considers his brokeness one of his strongest qualifications.
Pilliard Dickle is indebted to no corporation.* "And I vow to be just as broke the day I leave office as the day I go in."
* In the interest of full disclosure, he does owe Citibank about $300. (And then there's that Verizon thing, but let's not get into that.)
"It's time for change!"
"I'm not running on money. I'm running on imagination."
Does he really think he can win?
Who better to answer that than...
"It's a foregone conclusion that our democracy is accessible only to the rich. But I believe that with enough imagination and a positive, forward-moving agenda, it just might be accessible to a broke cartoonist on a futon."
"All I'm asking voters to do is go insane. Like they did two years ago. Do it again, America. But this time, 180º in the opposite direction."
Watch The Futon Show!
Click 'em all. They're really short.
Take an insider's tour of the campaign headquarters
He Dudn't Put on Ayers
(Overheard in Walmart)
Will Pilliard Dickle be at the debates? Possibly!
I resign from the white race!
"I vow when elected to put on pants."
All Pilliard Dickle's scandals laid bare!
I'll buy your vote!
"I’m the first to admit, I might not be the most qualified candidate for this job. But I assure you, I’ll do a better job than what we’ve got now. But then so could a monkey. Heck, you could grab a drunk off the street and he'd do a better job. And I’ll prove it!"
On the next Futon Show, Pilliard takes a shot every 15 seconds to prove that by the end of the show, he'll still be making more sense than...you know.
"Sure, I might be slurring a little toward the end, but I assure you I won’t be rattling on about building a wall to keep the brown people out. Or misspelling hamburger."
"I sent a letter to the top 10 corporations telling them, in no uncertain terms, don’t even think about contributing to my campaign. And so far, every one of them has complied."
Read the letter
"The US government should not be a wholly-owned subsidiary of corporate America. And under the administration of a broke cartoonist, it won't be."
Support our campaign.
Not with money...with memes!
We've already got our $175, plus two Beatles glasses full of change.* Donate your dollars to progressive candidates across the country who wear actual pants. (And not ones with little hamburgers on them.) If you want to help our cause, post some memes!
* Well, $169.50 now. Pilliard allocated some campaign funds toward a latte this morning. (The caffeine helps him think about the issues.)
"What's important is not that *I* get elected, but that we all pull together to put America back together again."